NEANDERDAD

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Neanderdad Before and After (but not During)

08 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

bicycle, bike, Child, childhood, children, dad, danger, daughter, family, father, fatherhood, funny, girl, humor, kids, mother, motherhood, neanderdad, offspring, parent, parenthood, Parenting, parents, pet, riding, sibling, son, work

The children orbited around Neanderdad.  They made small circles, large circles, ovals, figure-eights and paraboloids.   They rode clear across the giant expanse of tarmac that covered the playground of the local middle school, then swung back toward him pedaling furiously, as if to charge him.  In every case, as they drew near, the would swerve at the last moment, missing him.  Then they would laugh and call out to him. Continue reading →

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Neanderdad and the Greatest Gift Of All

24 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

boy, Child, childhood, children, Christmas, Christmas Tree, dad, danger, daughter, dog, family, father, fatherhood, funny, Gifts, girl, humor, kids, mother, motherhood, neanderdad, offspring, parent, parenthood, Parenting, parents, pet, sibling, son, work

It was that time of year again.   A large conifer had been imported into Neanderdad’s dwelling.  The tree blocked normal travel routes across the living room.  It also to make the house that much more susceptible to fire.  Flimsy lightbulbs on sketchy wiring were strung on the dry, tinder branches of that tree to ensure maximum combustibility.   Similar lights were attached to every eave and gutter of the wooden dwelling and blinked all through the drizzling, short-causing winter night.  Neanderdad, ever one to worry, tried to ignore this menace and focused instead on what went under the tree.  For the little ones, this was the gift season, most of all. Continue reading →

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Neanderdad Goes To Work

26 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

boy, Child, childhood, children, dad, danger, daughter, dog, family, farewell, father, fatherhood, funny, girl, humor, kids, mother, motherhood, neanderdad, office, offspring, parent, parenthood, Parenting, parents, pet, sibling, son, work

There is a time when a hunter must go hunting.  This was that time for Neanderdad.  He needed to get out to the office and slay a mammoth.  He was dressed for the hunt.  He had prepared.  A conference room full of colleagues awaited his arrival.  But, alas, Neanderdad simply could not get out of the house.

Neanderdad struggled with the doorknob, a backpack dangling unevenly from his shoulder and work papers stuffed dubiously under his arm.  The dog, eager to get outside, tried to squeeze past him and through the door as it opened.   Neanderdad had to drop a hip to bock him.  This made the backpack even more unbalanced and Neanderdad tottered.  But what presented the gravest challenge were his offspring.  They pulled him back inside with all their might.   After a morning of fully ignoring his presence, Neanderdad’s offspring had suddenly rediscovered the irreplaceable allure of their father.  They now gripped him fiercely. Continue reading →

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