NEANDERDAD

~ Tales of Primitive Parenting

NEANDERDAD

Tag Archives: family

Neanderdad the Protector

08 Friday Jan 2010

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, neanderdad, offspring

Neanderdad was the protector. In a panic, he lurched across the room toward his son, stumbling over the dog that had sprawled inconveniently on the carpet. The boy was maddeningly agile for an 19-month-old and Neanderdad had been looking in another direction for a microsecond too long. In that moment, the boy had climbed onto the sofa and bridged the gap onto the living room coffee table. He now tottered gleefully over the hardwood floor like a drunken cliff diver.  Neanderdad just managed to grasp him in midtopple, earning the reward of a stubbed toe on the table corner. Continue reading →

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Neanderdad Explains Christmas

18 Friday Dec 2009

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, neanderdad, offspring

Neanderdad’s people have many traditions, many important legends.  And at no time of the year were there more traditions and legends than during what Neanderdad’s people called ‘The holiday season.’   With this season now upon them, Neanderdad and his mate had dedicated themselves to exposing their offspring to every nuance.   The tree was up and decorated.  Stockings were hung with care.  Bright strings of lights twinkled on and off from the fences around their dwelling.  They even had a motorized and illuminated reindeer, which bobbed and whirred on the lawn, delighting the children (and disquieting the dog).   Continue reading →

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Neanderdad’s Night

16 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, neanderdad, offspring

Neanderdad concentrated so hard that his brow ached.  He knew his attention had a tendency to drift, but he was alone today with the girl and he wanted to stay in the moment.  He wanted her to know that she was his sole focus. That she was loved.   The only distraction in the dwelling was the dog, who had tried to insert himself in their play several times.  Neanderdad pushed the beast away. Continue reading →

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Neanderdad Awakes

26 Wednesday Aug 2009

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, neanderdad, offspring

It was dawn and Neanderdad was dreaming.  After struggling to get to sleep, then struggling to stay asleep, he was finally there.   He dreamed fitfully of a lush, green, mammoth-stocked valley.    Neanderdad was a night hunter, built for late-night forays.  He was not built for the morning.    But morning was now upon him.   Continue reading →

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Neanderdad’s Day

05 Friday Jun 2009

Posted by Garrett Rice in Neanderdad Tales

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, neanderdad, offspring

Neanderdad was confused.  His 3-year-old daughter held up a sippy cup with a built-in straw.  He had just conveyed to her that she must drink in the kitchen.  Yet she was still upset.  She waved it under his thick brow, as if to better reveal to him specific technical details that he did not understand.  Their family dog, who had been hanging around to scavenge food scraps, sensed trouble and drifted away.

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Neanderdad

01 Monday Jun 2009

Posted by Garrett Rice in Essays

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children, dad, family, fatherhood, kids, offspring

A while back I wrote some fatherhood fictions about my family.  A few fake anecdotes to pass the time.  But recently, I’ve been considering more serious matters.  Painful truths about being a father, which I have uncovered.  I want to write about the greatest riddle of parenting:   why is there such a horribly unfair distribution of innate parenting skills between fathers and mothers?    Continue reading →

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